Deep Breaths

I was always an emotional swimmer. My highs were incredibly high, and my lows were devastatingly low. When I retired, I thought nothing could replicate the intensity of the nerves I felt before a race—the sweaty hands, racing heart, and tightening knots in my stomach as my event approached. I believed nothing would compare to that exhilaration. Or so I thought.

In the pool, I was in control. The nerves I felt were tied to my own performance and outcome. I never understood why my mom and dad seemed just as nervous as I was before my races. They weren’t the ones swimming a mile, so why were they anxious?

As I got older and my brother’s swimming career took off, I finally understood what my parents had been feeling. Five years after retiring, I realized that my nerves related to swimming are higher than ever. There’s nothing quite like watching someone you love compete. During my brother’s silver medal performance in the 800 at the Paris Olympics, my heart rate hit 147—and I was just sitting down. The helplessness of watching and waiting, knowing there’s nothing you can do to influence the outcome, can feel like torture. We always want the best for those we care about. We’re with them through the endless practices, sacrifices, and the pain that comes with both reaching dreams and falling just short. I’d give anything to fast-forward to the end of my brother’s races just to know the outcome—not to know whether he wins a medal, but to know that he’s happy and proud of how far he’s come.

Some say swimming is an “individual sport,” but I would argue there’s no such thing. Every swimmer in the pool, no matter their age, level, or meet, has a support system behind them, standing with them through it all. Whether it’s driving to every practice, showing up at every meet, packing the extra towel, making good luck calls, sending encouraging texts, or supporting in countless other ways—swimming and competing truly take a village.

Swimmers, don’t forget to hug your parents, friends, teammates, and all those who support you. They’re the ones who will stand by you through the highest highs and the lowest lows that life has to offer.

And to all the parents, teammates, coaches, family members, and everyone in between: take a deep breath and enjoy the ride of watching dreams come true.